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rowanandphoenixfeather:

one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there

whatflavorofizze:

milesjai:

all-brawn-no-brain:

the-girl-who-laughed:

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THIS IS HILARY DUFF.

THIS QUEEN BUILT DISNEY CHANNEL AND DIDN’T HAVE A SAD, DISAPPOINTING DOWNSPIRAL.

SHE IS THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT AND NOW SHE’S A HAPPILY MARRIED MOTHER.

THAT’S HOW ITS DONE.

CAN I ALSO ADD THAT SHE BATTLED ANOREXIA AND BEAT IT ALL TO HELL

“THE ONLY DISNEY STAR THAT GOT IT RIGHT”????

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it got better

sherlollymouse:

cupcakes-and-ouija-boards:

stephluvvsyou:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

did a ghost do my taxes. i’m scared of eating ribbons.

This may be the most hilarious list ever.

"am I old enough to walk"

"can you get syphilis from reading about history"

obveously:

pizzatomb:

imagine if china, while they’re up on the moon, decides to knock down the US flag or whatever just to say ‘screw you’ and its like, what are we gonna do? spend a couple million just to fly some craft up to the moon and re-erect the flag? the whole scenario would be petty and that’s hilarious 

i have lived in america my entire life and i am 100% sure we would do exactly that